Grilled Cheese & Tomato Sandwiches & Love

I went over and spent some time with my Aunt Dot yesterday morning.  She lost Uncle Mike just a few days before their 62nd wedding anniversary, and she's determined to stay in the house for as long as she is able.

Isn't it funny that as kids, we have the adults in our lives imprinted in our memories as looking a certain way, being tall or whatever.  Whenever I see my Aunt Dot, I'm still taken aback on her fragility.  She was never a big woman, but being 88-years-old has made her even tinier.  Can I tell you that she is such an adorable woman, and we had a very nice time talking about Uncle Mike and the crazies in the family.

I'm not sure we cherish our elderly as much as we should in this country.  The older traditions have given way to the fast-paced world we are in today, and we forget that these people represent our childhood and our family history.  If we don't keep in touch with them, we lose touch with ourselves in so many ways.  Aunt Dot talked about her parents and her family growing up in West Virginia (seems an odd place for an Italian family, but her dad was a miner). 

I brought some sweets from a local bakery, and we had some tea as we talked and laughed and occasionally teared up about those we've lost.  For a small little lady, she was able to bully me into a wonderful grilled cheese and tomato sandwich...great comfort food.  Just before I was getting ready to go, she asked me if I wanted to "see" my uncle, and we went into the living room where his ashes are kept in a beautful urn.  Imagine living over 60 years with someone and then not having them around.  I remember how lost my brother was after losing my sister-in-law of 45 years.  My aunt and I talked about how men react differently to that type of thing, and how women may cope better than men. 

I'm glad my cousins keep an eye on Aunt Dot, and she is very fortunate to have them.  I feel grateful that we nieces and nephews have been allowed to share in Aunt Dot and Uncle Mike's love and stories.  My kids never knew my parents, but they got a sense of them by being around Aunt Dot and Uncle Mike (my Dad's baby brother), and that's precious to me.

Aunt Dot said that when they were making arrangements for Uncle Mike's remains, the funeral geek (my word...not hers) asked her if she wanted to be cremated, and she told him it wasn't something that...are you ready..."turned her on."  I want to grow to be Aunt Dot and Uncle Mike.