My just-70-year-old brother is getting married tomorrow...again. His first marriage lasted 45 years, five months, and one day. We had taken him and my sister-in-law out for their 45th wedding anniversary that June, and I told my sister-in-law that a statute should be erected in her honor for being married to my brother for sooooo long. She chuckled...he grumbled.
How do I explain my feelings about this whole thing without sounding like a bitch...hmmmm...sorry...can't do it. Why get married again? Is there an unplanned pregnancy? This is totally unlikely, his fiancee is 65 years old.
Without going into the whole story, let's just say that my brother found himself alone for the first time in 46 years, and went nuts...spending money on crap that he did not need and probably did not want...but he had this big old hole in his heart and life, and he needed to fill it. Let's see, here's a fast itemization of what he bought within the months following losing my sister-in-law: two Yorkie puppies (adorable, but expensive and needy), a new fully loaded pickup truck, a new compact car, a set of those friggin'ly expensive cutco knives (I don't know how he fed himself prior to this...poor thing), a hot tub, and...drum roll...a camping trailer that has more stuff in it than some new houses. These purchases were done in the space of only four or five months! By the way, the puppies didn't last too long, they have found new homes and are thriving, thank goodness.
And, he' developed a two-year-old's lack of couth when it comes to blurting out inappropriate things about his relationship with the new woman in his life...TO HIS GROWN DAUGHTERS!!! As the youngest in the family, I have tried to explain to him that the ewwwww factor of all of this is very upsetting, especially in light of the fact that he's rushed into the spending of money and the dating thingie so quickly. But, he's in love (or heat), and headed down to North Carolina to get hitched by our 80-year-old cousin whose faculties I wouldn't trust.
I loved my sister-in-law because of the person she was...she saw good in even the lowest of humans and was the type of person who brought calm to stressful situations. She was very empathic, and would have empathy stomach cramps for you. I know my brother loved her and she loved him, so it's very weird to see this whole "I'm in love" junk going on with this other woman. Don't get me wrong, she seems like a decent sort, but I am having a hard time getting a reading from her...know what I mean? There are basic, primal responses we have to people and situations...that so-called gut feeling that I believe has kept us (for the most part) from being someone or something's dinner selection. But with this woman, I'm getting nothing...my spidey sense is coming up with nothing, and that nothing is making me wonder if there isn't "something" lurking beneath the makeup and leather pants (yes, I did say leather pants, and that she's 65 years old).
Well, anyway, it's not my business, and it's not his children's business either to a degree. Whatever decisions he's made are his responsibility. If this woman proves to be a good companion who truly loves and respects him, then he deserves that. If she proves otherwise, I'm afraid of what it'll do to him. In any case, we as his family will be there for him.
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