May I Have My Life Back?

I have officially been out of work for six months. I had a great severance package for most of that time. Now, though, I am at the mercy of job posting websites, referrals, and submitting my weekly unemployment claims. I am in hell.

Don't get me wrong, this time off has allowed me to hang out with my older brothers who have had some serious and not-so-serious medical procedures, the most recent of which was last week. My oldest brother had arterial surgery in his leg to try to bypass the hardening of the arteries that comes to those who smoke(d) too much and is also a by-product of diabetes...he fits both of these categories. Basically, your arteries turn to rock and die and you are in danger of amputation. In his case, both legs were somewhat salvageable, and tomorrow is his week follow-up visit for the second surgery. He has a tendency to be rude when he should be saying "thank you" to folks helping him, and I've called him on it several times reminding him that I am not one of his kids, nor a girlfriend or wife (and they shouldn't be the target of his immaturity either).

I love my brothers, as weird as all three of them are for various reasons -- mostly to do with their blind adherence to their religions...pretty annoying stuff. All three of them were with the Jehovah's Witnesses (the two younger ones followed the oldest one) which caused all kinds of trouble within their families. A lot of time was wasted, as is the case with most fundamental religions, and the oldest one disassociated himself about 10 years ago which essentially means -- according to the Witnesses -- that the other two can no longer speak to him. Do you think God really supports this junk?

I am the Switzerland in the family; I do not follow ANY religion, so I can hang with any of them. I consider myself a recovered Catholic (we were raised Catholics...more or less) who told the priest presiding over my cousin's wedding that I was not going to confess anything to him, so let's not waste either of our times...I was 19 and didn't even French kiss let alone anything warranting spilling my guts to someone whose business it was NOT. So neither of my kids have been baptized or anything else to do with religion. They can make their own decisions. We did not bring them up to follow anything religious, but I have told them that I do have a belief in God and guardian angels (who else kept me from killing myself or others in the 70s behind the wheel after a night of drinking and dancing, right?).

Tomorrow I will drive to my brother's house with one of our larger vehicles, load him in the back so he can position his boo-boo leg on the front middle console, and drive him back to my neck of the woods to see his doctor...should be something out of Driving Miss Daisy, only NOT.

I'm glad I can be of help to my brothers, but I really need to get back to work, God,. I received a call from my former employer's staffing team who was reviewing my most recent application for re-employment. I know the young woman who called me to let me know that a lot of people who actually had the same type of position and did the same type of work in their current or former jobs had applied for the role...blah, blah, blah. I was totally kissed off by them. It was respectful that she called me since we do know each other, and she is a sweetheart, but it doesn't make me feel any better...I am POd. If you think ageism is not alive and well, try being over 55 and looking for work...HA!

I find myself envying people in movies and commercials who are sitting in office cubicles. I want to be back in my own cubicle and part of a team and a company. I don't need to make mega-bucks, just something that gives us benefits without costing my first-born male child (who is 25 now and not likely to go quietly, and did you notice that I got a biblical reference in there???).